Time seems to just go on while we stand still and don't enjoy it. Unfortunately I have been through something that I thought would be years and years in the future. I haven't been blogging at all because I just don't know how to put into words the events of the year.
My wonderful, kind, generous Dad passed away in March. I am still having a hard time saying that and it is still kind of a dream, unreal. My parents and siblings all live in England where I grew up and I am here in Illinois. When I got the call that Dad was more sick than they thought and the worst of our nightmares were about to come true, I dropped everything and booked a flight home. It tore me up inside to leave my family here alone, but I needed to see my Dad.
I arrived the day before my Dad's 73rd Birthday. The next day we drove to my Mum and Dad's house (not the one I grew up in), and I felt at home straight away. We put the kettle on and let Lucy the dog out and sat to wait for them to get home from the Doctors. That was the day they told my Dad he was terminal. What news to get on your birthday! We hadn't told him I was going to be there and I think he was surprised to see me. It was shocking to see him as the cancer he had was giving him balance problems and I had to hold in the tears and the hurt I was feeling. Holding it together was going to be my priority for this visit, for my Mum's sake.
I spent a month at their house. I only went out to the grocery store. I didn't tour the sights or visit with my other family members, although they came to see Dad.
I had my 40th birthday while I was there, and even with some ribbing from the sibs it seemed unreal. Being the youngest of 6 my being 40 was passe to them.
It was so wonderful to spend time with my Dad and Mum. It was heartbreaking to see him go downhill so fast. It was impossible to leave when it was time, but I had to come home to my husband and children. Three weeks later he was gone.
The most important thing I think I gave my mum while I was there was humor and companionship. Seeing my sibs for the first time in 10 years was strange, we have all changed so much but share the bond of our younger years. Seeing their children grown up was shocking and wonderful. Holding my great niece at 18 days old was precious. Holding my Dad's hand was something I am so grateful for and I am so glad I went.
My wonderful, kind, generous Dad passed away in March. I am still having a hard time saying that and it is still kind of a dream, unreal. My parents and siblings all live in England where I grew up and I am here in Illinois. When I got the call that Dad was more sick than they thought and the worst of our nightmares were about to come true, I dropped everything and booked a flight home. It tore me up inside to leave my family here alone, but I needed to see my Dad.
I arrived the day before my Dad's 73rd Birthday. The next day we drove to my Mum and Dad's house (not the one I grew up in), and I felt at home straight away. We put the kettle on and let Lucy the dog out and sat to wait for them to get home from the Doctors. That was the day they told my Dad he was terminal. What news to get on your birthday! We hadn't told him I was going to be there and I think he was surprised to see me. It was shocking to see him as the cancer he had was giving him balance problems and I had to hold in the tears and the hurt I was feeling. Holding it together was going to be my priority for this visit, for my Mum's sake.
I spent a month at their house. I only went out to the grocery store. I didn't tour the sights or visit with my other family members, although they came to see Dad.
I had my 40th birthday while I was there, and even with some ribbing from the sibs it seemed unreal. Being the youngest of 6 my being 40 was passe to them.
It was so wonderful to spend time with my Dad and Mum. It was heartbreaking to see him go downhill so fast. It was impossible to leave when it was time, but I had to come home to my husband and children. Three weeks later he was gone.
The most important thing I think I gave my mum while I was there was humor and companionship. Seeing my sibs for the first time in 10 years was strange, we have all changed so much but share the bond of our younger years. Seeing their children grown up was shocking and wonderful. Holding my great niece at 18 days old was precious. Holding my Dad's hand was something I am so grateful for and I am so glad I went.
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